less than stellar

I have just been EXHAUSTED lately!

I cant seem to find any energy.... no matter *how* much coffee I drink!

and yet, here I am, awake at 3am because I couldn't muster the energy to do anything else today...

I had full plans to workout and do things but after sleeping in late, caffeinating, lounging for a bit to check emails, etc, and even after showering, I got back in bed, in my towel! ---- It felt like I had a magnet attached to me, making it really difficult to pull away from the bed, sucking the energy out of me.

It's funny (as in weird) how *not* exercising makes you feel so much more tired than when you *do* work out.... it would seem like the opposite but it always happens like that.

And then it kind of turns into a vicious cycle of lack of energy - > not working out - > even less energy - > poor eating and sleeping habits - > even less energy - > that point where you feel terrible and really *want* to work out but can't summon the energy to actually DO it.

ugh

the exhaustion is exhausting.

it's one of those things where you have to fight through the exhausted feeling and basically force yourself to work out (even go for a walk or clean or something) to stop the downward spiral. and it is always the hardest to make that first step. the putting your workout clothes on or stepping out the door for a run, pr peeling yourself out of bed.

but once you do it's so worth it and gets everything back on track.

Im still in the I-really-want-to-work-out-because-my-body-is-throbbing-but-I-feel-like-even-a-walk-around-the-block-is-too-strenuous lethargic stage. But Im FORCING myself to get up early (even though Im already up too late) tomorrow and have "scheduled" bursts of movement throughout the day, rather than trying to set out to do one huge workout.

...Because that would just wouldn't happen.

It's so much easier to find the energy for a short jog or quick workout than to set out do an 8-mile-run. It's easy to get overwhelmed by the pressure of that and it's all mental so once there is an inkling of doubt it's easy to just give up.

So, even though I am training (Im signed up for a half-marathon on the 24th) and actually do need to run 8 miles this week, Im using these next few days to do short runs and supplemental workouts (yoga, gym cardio) beforehand so that I can bring my stamina and endurance back up to a better level and get back on track.

(getting on a more stable schedule will help as well. ....working on that too!)