Things I know for sure

As I mentioned a few days ago, I have been on the verge of depression this past week or so.

Being unemployed turned out not to be as fun as it may seem. The days just did not have any purpose, so I was sleeping too much and laying in bed too much.... and I was downright bored!!

I am definitely a girl that thrives on being busy, and that leads me to what I have learned (that I already knew) from this little "experience":

• I need a purpose in life. Even if it is just a temporary stepping stone in my unknown goals of life, I need something to occupy my time; a place to go everyday, tasks to fulfill; a sense of accomplishment.
• I am a very social person. Along the same lines of having a place to go everyday, ideally in the morning, at the same time, I need to interact with people. And no offense to my dear family but they dont count. Mundane chatter just does not do it for me. Sorry.
• I am at my best when I dont sleep longer than 8 hours. 7 is actually ideal.
• Showering first thing in the morning is the best wake-up for me. Sometimes I plan to get up and work out in the morning but I am also generally really hungry in the morning and/or still sleepy first thing so I will plan to get up and eat something small and have coffee and then workout an hour later. But that never happens. well... rarely. So then I end up staying in my pj's all day with the theoretical plan that Im going to work out at some point, which ends up not happening because Im lethargic from laying around all day. Its a vicious cycle.
• Speaking of having coffee in the morning, I actually dont even like it. I love it, but I dont like it, if that makes any sense at all. I stopped drinking coffee a bit ago and I felt so great! I realized when I drink it, it actually makes me more tired than if I dont have any. Long, refreshing, morning showers are all I need :) and maybe some tea from time to time..
• I need to workout everyday ...not even for weight-loss, although that is definitely a bonus. I need it for my sanity, my mind, my skin, and my overall health. I know that a lot of people say to take a day off but I need to keep that momentum, and have it just be part of my daily routine. Otherwise, I will go several days without doing anything and then I just feel terrible: my muscles tight, begging to be moved, my skin starts to break out, my back and neck start to hurt. Its just one of those things that I know I need but somehow "forget" about.
• I have to talk myself into doing things that I know are good for me when I am feeling lazy or apathetic. Like working out or being with my friends when all I want to do is stay curled up in bed.
• Everything I do and how I feel, overall, all goes back to how happy I feel. and that happiness is all related to how much I feel needed and valued and how much purpose I feel I have in my life. But basically, I am so much happier when I have somewhere to go everyday, and even better when Im so busy Im juggling things. And its funny, the busier you are, the more opportunities arise; when you're not busy and searching for things, it seems like there is nothing available to fill your time.

So, the basis of this post is that I had grand plans to busy myself to pull myself out of my rut and had (probably too much) coffee in preparation to run this "morning" (I slept til 11:30! which I havent done in as long as I can remember..) but, of course, I didnt. I sat around and fiddled on the internet forever searching for anything to occupy my time, and meanwhile my inspiration, rather than peaking, continued to disappear, and I continued to think about everything too much and feel sorry for myself, and even went back to sleep (wtf?!) for a while....

Finally I woke up in the evening, and checked my email again and found that I actually had good news waiting for me: I was offered the internship I applied and interviewed for!!! Definitely the highlight of my day.

I actually have a purpose again!!

Even though this is an unpaid position, it will give me very good experience that (Im sure) will help me in the future, and will hopefully help me figure out what direction I want to steer my life.

But the biggest bonus of this, at least for right now, is that I will have a reason to get up every morning, and get me out of the house for several hours at a time, and will give me something to actually think about again. That is a big reason I havent been sleeping well lately: my boredom is partially caused by the fact that I dont actually do anything. I guess thats obvious. But what I mean is that even though Im reading a lot more, Im not doing any sort of mentally-taxing activities. And since I dont physically do much all day, either, Im just not tired at

night, but lethargic during the day. UGH - vicious cycle!

Anyway, Im SO EXCITED to start working again and actually doing something that I (I think) will enjoy: doing a variety of tasks throughout the day (another thing to add to my list of things I know I need), intermixing paperwork with social interactions. :):):):)