Procrastination: you only screw yourself....

Why?

Why, why, WHY ?!

do I do this to myself???

I always put everything off to the last minute, planning it out to the second in order to get it all done... but, inevitably, things change; life throws you curveballs, causing those plans to shift.

Its such double-edged sword: I thrive on the pressure to get things done - if I dont have a deadline, Im less likely to do anything until I absolutely have to - but hate the anxiety that comes with not knowing if everything is going to work out... and hate the sleep deprivation that always accompanies it in the attempt to cram everything in.

I tell myself EVERY TIME that I will not procrastinate, not leave everything to be done at the very last second. I plan things out, detailing what I need to do when, in order to have everything done early. ....But it never happens. Other things come up that are more 'urgent' at the time, or I decide that Im too tired today so Ill rest and do it tomorrow. Tomorrow comes around, and there's something else hindering my productivity.

UGH.

This particular post was inspired by the fact that I am going to Puerto Rico to visit Anjelica, Judy and Caleb TOMORROW after work and am scrambling to get everything ready before then. Mind you, I had this entire week to do so, and planned it that way, vowing that this time I would be better, would not procrastinate. and yet, here I am, at 1 in the morning, packing the last of my things before I work at 7 am.

I have been researching cameras to buy for the past several weeks, debating feverishly between my options -- remember my new year's resolution post when I mentioned I wanted to take a photo everyday? yeah.... well, I had found the camera I wanted on the 31st but it was significantly more expensive than what I wanted to spend so I waited.

Decisions are not my strong suit. I am really terrible at making them, and horrible about living with them. It seems as though whenever I make an impulsive decision, I regret it. But when I wait and think it through, I often end up regretting it. Its agonizing! Im sure the pressure I put on making these decisions is the major component of my dissatisfaction...

I analyzed every bit of this camera situation in my head, and went back several times to try other cameras, which never measured up, for weeks. I wanted to purchase this camera before I left for my trip so I would have it there, and ideally have played with it and learned a bit about it before arriving. So I, of course, waited 'til the last minute: I planned the week out accordingly, to the very last second to allow for me to purchase it.

And then, as I said, life happens. Things change.

In this case, I got called into work early.

I frantically weighed all the options in my head. Do I have time to get down to the store and back in time for work? Do I just go to another store? I found out that there was another branch of the store I had been going to on my way to work so I called to see if the price of the selected camera was still valid. It wasnt..

Now I was recalculating my decision: Should I go to that store in the hopes that the salesman I had been working with would be gracious enough to give it to me at the price originally quoted? What if he's not there? What is the amount of money I could possibly save versus the amount of money I will make by going into work early?

So instead of going to the store where I had been going, where the salesman had been so great and had helped me so much, and where he knew me, I went to the other branch, in the mall.

I had already made my decision when I set out for the day to purchase the camera. But upon arriving in the store, I wavered. I asked the saleswoman what she recommended between the one I wanted and the next, slightly older, and much less expensive, model below it. I played with it for a moment and it didnt even compare.

Okay. at least I didnt have any bit of doubt about it (...other than the anxiety of the price I was about to pay for it). This was the camera I wanted.

So, after a long process of being rung up, getting interrupted several times, having to add all sorts of extra costs (protection plans, lens, etc.), and almost having a heart attack when I finally handed over my card... I finally walked out with a brand new beautiful Nikon D5000, and even though I've barely taken it out of the package to charge it, I love it already!