do I have a sign on my head that says "ask me out?"

I don't know what is happening.

In the past 2-3 weeks I have been asked out/asked to "hang out"/been given numbers by 6 guys!

That is more than my lifetime total so it is a little weird for it all to be happening all at once.

And although I am liberal, I am actually very traditional when it comes to this kind of thing.

I won't call you (even though I did with CC) if you give me your number to "hang out." You need to call and ask. me. out. Not text and ask what my "plans are" or if I "wanna hang out."

That's not a date.

But, that being said, while I love a gentleman (who doesn't?!), too much 'chivalry' repulses me.

Don't bend over backwards to accommodate me, don't make me choose what we do, don't put me first before everything else in your life (please have a life outside of me).

and: thank you for paying for my meal, but don't pay for EVERYTHING or give me gifts when we're just starting to "hang out." it's weird and it makes me realllllllllly uncomfortable.

But back to the sign on my head.

I really don't know what triggered this sudden burst. Maybe it really is true that when you put something out into the universe, things start to happen? Maybe this means I'm really ready.

I'm not so sure about that because my instinct is to RUN the other direction and hide in my comfort zone of independence.

But I'm going to give it a shot.

I'm learning what I want in life and this is part of the process.

I've always taken things very seriously. everything: work, relationships.

Not in the sense that I don't have fun, because I am also very easy-going and very fun-loving.

But if I do something I do it with everything. I don't like to start something and then quit.

Similarly, I feel emotions very strongly. and I kind of take on this belief that everything means a lot.

That's why I get really upset when a friend that I hold dear doesn't treat me with the same devotion as I her or him, or why I attach myself to certain jobs: if I apply to something I realllly want, I often stop applying because I don't want to get into that situation of accepting another position that I don't want as much because it is offered first, only to have coveted job offered as well and have to either miss out on it or break off plan and burn the bridge at the first place.

Same thing with guys. Except without the 'settling' for the first one.

But definitely holding out for the one I LOVE (that will never happen), when others are offering and available.

I'm trying to work on that.

• I'm not going to put so much pressure on every decision and action I make; I'm just going to have fun, enjoy the company I'm in, and let things happen.
• I'm going to try to just do, not analyze.
• I'm going to try to REALLY give things a chance and not "put my walls up," like my mom would say.
• I'm going to try to remember say how I feel instead of worrying about hurting people's feelings and ending up just being frustrated.
• I'm going to try to let go of what I think I want, and enjoy the experience.
• I'm going to try not to think of how my actions will affect the future and just live the moment.

easier said than done.

but I'm going to try.