messiness

I feel like a big ol' mess right now.

and I dont like it.

Im really, really sick of it, actually.

Im tired of feeling so out of control of my life.

Of having things up in the air all the time.

Of not having a plan, a goal.

I mean, I love the randomness. That's who I am, really.

I get bored when there is no change or stimulation.

But I dont like taking jobs (that I really enjoy) "just because" and then trying to make all the pieces around it work and fit and be good, only to completely change course.

And I really dont like the feeling of flakiness that comes from this seemingly never-ending process of "self-discovery."

I always feel torn between a million things, never knowing what to choose, and wondering how things will end up.

Im ready for some stability. Im ready for some movement in the right direction.

I may not have a plan yet and that's ok. But something's gotta change, because I cant handle this "unkempt" feeling.