all or nothing

I never thought myself to be an all or nothing kind of a gal, a black and white, extremes gal.

I mean, I am definitely almost always wavering in some sort of shade of grey, wishy-washy and indecisive. I dont really like to have to choose between just one or the other.

I like to have it all.

So when my friend casually mentioned something about me being all-or-nothing, it really took me aback.

No, Im not, I thought.

But then I thought about it more and realized that I kind of am.

The context of her statement was that I was just unemployed - completely, really hardly doing anything (which I hated) - for three months, and now I am juggling four jobs.

And it is not the first time.

And after I started thinking about it, I realized that ebb and flow cascades into other areas of my life as well: working out/running, eating habits/cravings, social life, sleeping, etc.

I mean, it is undeniable.

I prefer to have the balance