Bizarro Jessica // everything happens for a reason

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like had I chosen different paths along the way.

For example:

• What if I had gone to Wyoming instead of Germany ten years ago? 
• What if I had never studied abroad in high school? 
• What if I had taken that job at Chrysler instead of choosing not to settle for something that my intuition knew was wrong - even though it meant being unemployed. 
• (And: what if I didn't have such strong support system that allowed me to float when I felt lost?!)
• What if I had dated Andrew seriously in high school instead of running away because I didn't know how to deal romantic feelings at that time (which also probably relates back to the intuition thing again)?  
• What if I had decided not to graduate when I did? What if I had in fact decided to stay in school to get a journalism degree two weeks before I was supposed to graduate in 2009 because I was feeling unprepared for the "real world" upon graduating with no real career path (just a vast set of skills that would allow me to "do a lot of things") 

What if you could see the different yous you could have been - like Choose Your Own Adventure, or The Butterfly Effect. Would you want to know where each of the paths lead? 

Obviously, I would not be the person I am today but I often wonder how my life would be different. 

There is no way to ever know because I didn't do any of those things; I was meant to choose the paths I chose and I was meant to become the person I have become. Everything happens for a reason. 

And then, what if my uncontrollable circumstances had been different? 

• What if my parents had been happy and/or madly in love with each other? 
• What if Tarah and I were closer in age? 
• Or what if I was an only child?!
• What if our extended family members were closer-knit? 

I absolutely believe our personalities are ingrained in us from birth and the core components of those personalities don't really change - but I also hugely believe in the nurture aspect of development and that the environment you are raised in massively shapes who you become, or what aspects of your existing personality strengthen. 

I would be a completely different person if any of those environmental factors had been different and my life would absolutely look drastically different had I chosen any of the paths I once considered. Everything happens for a reason and every decision - good or bad - brings us to who we are and where we need to be. 

I like philosophizing about the fact that my life could look very different at this very moment had I done any one thing differently, but I know I'm exactly where I'm meant to be.